How selfish I am. Selfish with my time mostly. Yesterday was Easter. For some it only means a reason to eat candy out of plastic eggs, but for others, including me, it’s a specific day centered on the resurrection of the world’s Savior and King. I ponder the crucifixion, knowing it was more brutal than I can let my mind imagine. I just have to wonder what was going through Jesus’ mind with each blow He received. Could it have been, “Sam, you’re worth this,” or “[insert name], you’re worth this.” {Sit and ponder that} I almost can’t let myself believe it. I look at my life and the little productiveness of it, the little fruit, and it doesn’t make sense. No one should ever consider me worthy to die for. Why would Christ put Himself through that for my pathetic excuse of a life. And it wasn’t like He was naive about it. He hasn’t been up in Heaven thinking, “Seriously? I died for that girl? She does nothing! She’s terrified to even speak my Name.” He knew, even before coming to earth, that I’d be lukewarm half the time. But yet He loved me enough to offer me new life. “For the joy set before Him endured the cross…” I’m a part of His joy. You are too, or you can be. I don’t write this only to give you those warm fuzzy feelings. I hope this realization will move us to take on the new life Christ died to give us. My own personal prayer request is to be so overwhelmed that my shyness and insecurities won’t hold me back from talking to people about this amazing Love. I want to embrace the freedom and leave behind the old Sam that was content being on the sidelines. Honestly, it’s the very least I can do for all Christ has done for me.
